Mental State of Confusion

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My depression confuses the hell out of me sometimes. But most especially last night and today. So, all week I have had a full house. Between my oldest daughter having a friend over for the week. My youngest daughter and her girlfriend coming out to help me with cleaning and check on me because of my depression, and my son coming down for two days to help out with the cleaning. It has been a busy week. All week I have been missing the quiet, feeling a bit stressed. Telling myself that I am having trouble focusing on writing because of all the activity around the house. Then between Thursday evening and Friday morning, everyone left. The house was silent, and I should have had a super productive day…right? Not a chance. Yesterday was the least productive writing day I have had in over a week. I managed to edit a chapter I had already written and post it. Then write about a paragraph on a chapter for a new story, but other than that, nothing. My depression made me feel like I was carrying around about an extra two hundred pounds. I just couldn’t motivate myself to move or do anything at all yesterday. Then I couldn’t fall asleep last night, a sure sign that my depression is getting to me. Today seems to be a bit better in that I have been able to write a bit more and have done some productive things around the house. But to my surprise, as much as I love silence and lack of interruptions, I also miss activity and having people around. Who would have figured me an unabashed introvert missing activity and people? I would never have guessed.

Anyway, thanks for reading my random ramblings!