Motivation or The Lack

Tom Chizek
2 min readSep 24, 2021
Image by <a href=”;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=980784">Ulrike Mai</a> from <a href=”;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=980784">Pixabay</a>

I have been fighting my depression for the last couple of weeks. I have been hiding in other people’s worlds, avoiding this world, even avoiding trying to build my own world. Just reading others’ works, sleeping, playing computer games, and trying to avoid myself. The thing about avoiding yourself, it is impossible. No matter how much you try to avoid yourself, you are still there. I am finally trying to come out of my slump, face myself, figure out what to do about this round of depression.

The first step is to write rather than read, exercise rather than play computer games, and be active rather than passive. Even if I only manage one of these every day, it will be an advance. For the last three days, I have managed to walk just a bit farther every day. While today I am writing rather than playing. I find myself still fighting the urge to hide in someone else’s world. But maybe if I can write, I can at least hide in my own world and be somewhat productive while I do so.

Anyway, just a short update about my fight with depression. A slice of life in the ongoing struggle to stay at the top of my own personal slippery slope.

Thanks for reading this!